Mothers, not managers, build community, and not in classrooms (BJRE072)

Mothers, not managers, build community, and not in classrooms

(By Dr. Edward Edezhath. Published in Kairos Magazine in 2023) 

My forty-odd years of teaching have taught me some important lessons. One of them is that the classroom is the biggest hurdle to learning. In the classroom, students freeze. They are not only dull, but this is where kids learn to wear masks and pretend to be someone else.

However, unfortunately, we have classrooms everywhere where a teacher stands at the front while students sit facing them. I gradually learned that these environments do not benefit children. Over time, I worked to dismantle these barriers and transform the setting and tone of my teaching sessions.

But what is that meant for JY?

When we first began developing our youth groups, a question arose: What title should we use for those in leadership? Previously, I was involved in another youth group where we referred to our key leaders as President or Leader. In 1978, when I took on the responsibility of gathering youth in the Renewal, I started using the term ‘Convener.’ Its dictionary definition is “a person whose job it is to call people together.” 

Indeed, the issue is not about terms or titles, but rather what happens within a group, especially how a leader functions. Much like a coin, a group has two sides: the individuals and the tasks. I did not want to focus on what we needed to accomplish but instead on the people in the group. Achieving a good balance between these two aspects is essential. However, giving greater attention to individuals becomes critically important in our work, emphasizing compassion and the goal of creating a kingdom of love.

How do you practice this ‘person-focus’?

In our early days, as we concluded a program for beginners, we would have a model group experience. We were told, ‘To live a life in the Spirit, you need to be a part of a group.’ After that, there would be a practice session. The first instruction was, ‘The group should not be like a classroom; instead, always sit in a circle.’ The next one was that as everyone came in, they should smile, say hello, and chit-chat. “Help people feel relaxed and at home!”

Since 1976, the prayer group has served as an excellent training field for me, week after week. There, I learned to smile at and attend to everyone who comes in, making them feel at home. We all enjoyed the intimacy and friendship within the community. We explored various innovative ways to keep this love and joy alive in the group, while also doing our best to welcome newcomers and help them feel included with all of us. 

There is a significant issue here. We need teaching and instruction for a Christian group to grow. If people are not challenged on this journey of deepening, their love and joy will be shallow and eventually fade. However, the challenge lies in the approach to faith instruction. People learn and study in diverse ways. Forcing them to learn faith in a classroom setting can harm the group. While this may benefit a small section, head-level teaching can be overwhelming for most. Over time, this type of faith instruction can also undermine a community.

The seven learning styles

One fundamental problem is that many people struggle to sit and listen to teachings, whether in a prayer group or retreat. For many, prolonged sitting in a prayer group feels torturous. Often, we conclude that it is their issue and that they need to change. However, in Jesus Youth, we have learned over the years that by changing our methods of instruction, many more people can participate and grow in their faith.

What are the different ways of instruction that we use in Jesus Youth? For many youths, songs serve as the best teaching method. For others, skits or dramas enhance their learning. Many find that discussing in a group is most effective, while some learn best through activities. The list continues. Consequently, Jesus Youth programs differ significantly from Catechism classes in parishes and Charismatic retreats. We may convey the same faith content, but the ways in which youth learn in Jesus Youth have become radically different. 

With my experience in Jesus Youth, I was very excited when I learned about the seven learning styles. We apply this in Jesus Youth, and it transforms people's lives! Many educators say that individuals learn in greatly different ways. These seven styles include: seeing (visual), listening (auditory/ musical), moving (kinesthetic), using language (verbal), reasoning (logical/mathematical), connecting with others (social), and working alone (solitary). Unfortunately, we often force people to learn through traditional teaching methods, primarily in a classroom setting. This mainly emphasizes linguistic and logical learning. However, someone with a physical learning style requires engaging activities to learn, as ‘just talking’ can be tedious for them. Meanwhile, a person with a relational style will enjoy discussions.

By their fruit, you will know.

We have heard the saying, “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” Using the correct method is not enough; it must produce proper results. What fruits will we see? In Jesus Youth, we want people to continue living in fullness, to be more loving and joyful, and we want communities to grow with love and commitment. How will we achieve this?

There is an old song, “Who Builds Community?” Sometimes, when experts fail to gather people and help them grow, some very simple and humble leaders succeed. What is their secret? I would say, like Jesus or the father of the prodigal son, they possess a mother’s heart.

Home is where you are accepted as you are, no matter what. To create a home, the first ingredient is, of course, a mother’s heart. I think of various leaders in Jesus Youth. Such leaders keep the entire community together, ensuring that everyone enjoys being there. For those who feel like the odd one out, you receive special care. I am sure that under the nurturing gaze of such a mother, everyone in the group will thrive, bearing the fruits of a rich community.

Topics:

            Leadership

            Classroom dynamics

            Community building

            Learning approaches

            Feminine Genius

Highlights:

1. Classroom vs. Effective Learning Environments  

2. A Shift from Task-Oriented to Person-Oriented Leadership  

3. Creating Welcoming and Inclusive Communities  

4. Faith Formation Beyond the Classroom Model  

5. The Seven Learning Styles  

6. The Fruit of Effective Learning and Leadership  

7. The Power of a ‘Mother’s Heart’ in Leadership 

8. Building Community Through Love and Relational Leadership