Preparing young people for family life (BJRE074)

 

Preparing young people for family life

(By Dr. Edward Edezhath. Published in Kairos Magazine in 2024) 

Sometimes, imaginative stories vividly bring to life the times of Jesus and his experiences.  Many years ago, after watching the film Ben-Hur, I became fascinated with fictional narratives set in Biblical times. I acquired some Bible-themed historical novels and began reading them. One interesting scene still lingers in my mind. St. Peter was part of a growing Christian community in Rome, where he closely interacted with the romantic lives of various individuals. Among them were a young man and woman who developed a strong connection with Peter and with each other. He gently arranged opportunities for them to meet alone, nurturing their budding romance. Finally, one day, after a long walk, they returned to share with him that they were committing to each other for life and planning to get married. Upon hearing this, the old apostle was ecstatic and praised God for His great work. Reading this, I reflected that sometimes we forget that holiness is not only about prayer but also about living our lives in accordance with God's will.

When young people fall in love

Mature and level-headed elders are a blessing when young people face raging storms. Long ago, there was much discussion when two young leaders from a group decided to marry. Many young people felt somewhat betrayed. Was it jealousy or cultural shock? Many elders said developments like this could distract young people from following a spiritual path. 

When the elders’ team met, someone raised the issue. Some expressed similar sentiments, but James Abraham and Fr. Augustine took a positive stance. They remarked that in traditional communities, when a boy or girl reaches marriageable age, the respected elders see it as their responsibility to ensure they find a suitable partner for life. It is a great blessing when young people find good partners from communities with shared faith values. We must do everything possible to encourage and assist them. I noticed parallels between St. Peter's rejoicing in the novel and the blessings James Abraham and Fr. Thuruthimattom provided for the love relationships within the groups.

Falling in love and preparing for a beautiful married life is an integral part of a young person’s journey toward holiness. Of course, relationships are so beautiful that we approach them with love and purity. Rigid rules and laws cannot be applied to them. Instead, every relationship is a matter of beauty and wonder, and we approach them with attentive listening and prayer. This is especially true when we see young people drawn closer together.

Jesus Youth communities hold a special role.

“How did you meet your wife? How did that lead to your marriage?” Young people often ask me this question. They are eager to learn how I prepared for my marriage. I am happy to share my beautiful journey with them. There were many factors contributing to my big decision to embrace family life. My relationship with the Lord and my journey in Jesus Youth were very important to me. At that time, I was part of a loving and active community. In it, there were wise and supportive elders with whom I could talk. I was surrounded by many youthful friends, both men and women, and journeyed with them on various active missions. Finally, my own family was very supportive of my missionary life, and their values and culture were important to me.

A community is built when real-life issues are addressed. When a young man or woman realizes that others support and assist with the most important decisions in life, they truly become part of that group. Therefore, a good community should always inquire how it can aid youth in their journey toward family life. 

Place Jesus and His Kingdom at the center: One’s life choices are central to one’s spirituality. When a young person makes Jesus and His Kingdom the focus of those choices, this represents the best path to holiness.

Discuss love, sexuality, and relationships. These topics are significant in everyone's life, particularly for the young. By exploring thoughts and ideas rather than just attending lectures, young people develop a clearer vision of life. Therefore, we should allocate dedicated time in our groups to engage in these life-focused discussions.

Have trusted seniors to listen and accompany: Trust develops through long interactions, allowing people to open their hearts. A good Christian community is one with such elders.

Encourage peacemakers or bridge builders: Friendships, particularly between men and women, are often filled with tensions and conflicts. In such situations, we will need the interventions of peacemakers.

Build joyful and loving communities: Courtship and marriage are significant yet joyous life events. That’s why the Bible begins and ends with references to marriage. “What God has joined together, man should not separate” (Mt. 19:6). Furthermore, when God unites a man and a woman, the entire community should rejoice and come together to support them in living and celebrating the fullness of life.  We always do this and should continue, recognizing that it is a God-given mission. 

Pope Francis urges us in Amoris Laetitia, “The complexity of today’s society and the challenges faced by the family require a greater effort from the whole Christian community in preparing those who are about to be married.” (206) Most of the significant challenges we observe around us are related to family. The best remedy is to prepare those entering it with love and joy. Jesus Youth communities provide excellent platforms for doing this in a friendly and effective manner. 

Topics:

            Family Ministry

            Youth Guidance

            Accompaniment

            Courtship

            On Marriage

Highlights:

1. Love, Relationships, and Holiness 

2. The Role of Elders and Community Support  

4. Building a Christ-Centered Community for Young People  

5. Marriage as a Community Celebration and Mission  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Story of the Name ‘Jesus Youth’ (BJRE013)

Image
The Story of the Name ‘Jesus Youth’  (Published in Kairos Magazine in 2018) This movement, ‘Jesus Youth,’ has grown and spread. It is present in almost three dozen countries and on all continents. The movement has given rise to several fascinating and youth-friendly initiatives. For numerous people, ‘Jesus Youth’ is a label they proudly apply to themselves, saying, ‘I am a Jesus Youth!’ So naturally, people ask, ‘How did this name come about?’ or ‘Who gave the movement this name?’ I tell them, initially, the name was that of a conference, and we never thought of it as the name of a movement. However, after the 1985 conference, those who had participated in the gathering began identifying themselves as Jesus Youth, and gradually, other people associated with the network also adopted this name. To discuss its background, the steps to bring together the youth in the Charismatic Renewal in Kerala started in earnest in 1978. For this purpose, a team was formed, and after a few gathering...
Read more

What is Jesus Youth Mission? Building witnessing communities (BJRE071)

Image
  What is Jesus Youth Mission? Building witnessing communities (By Dr. Edward Edezhath. Published in Kairos Magazine in 2023)   These days, I regularly attend two weekly prayer groups. The Wednesday group is my old one, which now meets online. It goes very well.  The local group gathers on Sunday afternoons, but its attendance is not very consistent. Occasionally, they cancel the meeting because other commitments arise, and they often choose to skip it for study sessions or outside events. Participation in a community is a habit, and a good habit must be carefully nurtured. However, many people gradually disconnect from Jesus Youth as the group becomes inconsistent. Perhaps this was what the writer of the book of Hebrews observed: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (10:24,25) Even in the early Church...
Read more

Can Spirituality be so much fun - (BJRE001)

Image
Can spirituality be so much fun? (By Dr. Edward Edezhath - Published in Kairos Magazine in 2016) “I just wanted to discover why these people are so interested in Jesus Youth. Won’t they get bored with prayer and these talks on Spirituality?”  I was taking my 17-year-old son to the Joy Conference, which Jesus Youth Teens Ministry had organized. Earlier, some youth came home and mentioned the program to him, and to my surprise, he willingly gave his name. As we drove to the program, he told me he was going there out of curiosity. His idea is that anything to do with spirituality is so dull; if so, why are so many smart teenagers and youth so crazy about Jesus Youth? And he was going there to unravel the mystery. After four days, as I was taking him back home from the Joy Conference, I asked him how the whole thing had been. “Not bad,” he said. Knowing him, I heard it as ‘Excellent”. Little by little, he spoke to me about the friendly ones he had met there, how they had fun during the...
Read more