When ‘project’ becomes an unpleasant term in Jesus Youth. (BJRE082)

When ‘project’ becomes an unpleasant term in Jesus Youth.

(By Dr. Edward Edezhath. Published in Kairos Magazine in 2024) 

“Sorry! Is this a wrong time to talk?” It was a call from a girl around 4:30 in the afternoon. The call came through Facebook Messenger. Quite strange, as I had never received a call like that before. “Perfectly fine,” I replied. However, I noticed she had already tried to chat with me and made several unsuccessful calls. 

Then it dawned on me: she was calling from somewhere in India, where it was about two in the morning. “Have we met?” Oh yes. I realized that years ago, after a Jesus Youth training program, we had spent some time together. 

Soon, I learned that she was in a terrible mental state, having no one to talk to and contemplating the unthinkable. Somehow, she took her phone, saw me online, and tried to call me. “How can I call you at this time? " I thought. But then something urged me to dial. The Lord has a plan for me.” Then we had a long conversation, during which she poured out her heart about her awful situation after marriage; now six months pregnant and her husband far away. “I was so active in Jesus Youth. It was such a beautiful time in my life. But now I wish I had someone to spend a little time with, share with, and get something to eat. I feel so alone.”

When the festival ends, you're alone.

I was trying to provide some context. She lives in an area filled with many active people I know. She was involved in a ministry and had numerous friends. But now, in her darkest moment, there is no one to turn to. If a miracle had not prompted her to make a call, she would have done something terrible. 

Certainly, after a significant event or when you leave a joyful gathering, you might experience a sense of loneliness. However, you still think of those who love you. It is said that even in a crowd, one can feel alone. Conversely, even when you are by yourself, you can be surrounded by love. The heart of Christianity is to offer everyone this profound sense of belonging. I am loved by God, and I am part of a community of people who care for me. This feeling brings joy. In Jesus Youth, our goal is to cultivate this Kingdom experience.

Last week, I received an unexpected text message from Jose: “Hi friend, are we becoming an elaborate project? Have we lost our first love?” For me, that felt like a sledgehammer blow. In the early 1980s, when we used to gather regularly in the First Line group, one discussion point was about the youth organizations we observed. They were chasing many programs and projects, and most young people were not comfortable with them. “We don’t want to create another one like that. There are already too many,” we would say. We wanted to come together and do something small, yet meaningful, something that would respond to the heart’s desires of the Lord and the young people.

The tragedy of projects.

Recently, there was a significant flood in Kerala. Following that, public media engaged in extensive discussions about fundraising for reconstruction and rehabilitation. We all must contribute. But to whom should we donate our money? If we give our funds to government projects, they may be consumed by the system, leaving little to benefit the people. Yet, this issue extends to all social service initiatives. The system absorbs a large portion of the resources and never reaches the poor.

In a way, the situation is similar to that of most other work, including youth ministry. We develop systems and projects to reach out to young people; however, the entire focus and energy are often directed toward the systems. As a result, young people end up being forgotten. It's no wonder that many good individuals are reluctant to join teams or participate in organizational projects.

One person told me the other day, “When a phone call comes from a leader, I am sure it will be to discuss some program or something I must do. It's never out of love for me. It's never to ask how I am doing.” Of course, we might say, “I don't want to disturb everyone by simply calling and asking how they are.” But on the other hand, if I am viewed only as a useful object to serve some need, I will surely feel “used” by everyone. Feeling useful is one thing, but feeling used is terrible. 

Love should be experienced in flesh and blood.

It is interesting how we sometimes overlook all the friendship passages in the Bible. Many of St. Paul’s letters address issues in the churches, yet he often made an effort to connect with individual friends and express the warmth of those relationships. For example, a quick glance at Romans Chapter 16 reveals his strong connections. There is a litany of names of his friends. We are well aware of Jesus’s personal chats and home visits in the Gospels. The first commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mk 12:30). I am sure Jesus wants us to love those around us with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength as well. At the very least, he did so, and all his great disciples did as well. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (Jn 15:13).

Unfortunately, our families and groups gradually become like machines, and under the weight of custom and routine, individuals get trampled down, causing joy and love to slowly die. However, Jesus’s Kingdom is all about love and joy. So how should we proceed? Perhaps in our families, groups, and wider church, there must be a balance among three important elements: checking on where each person is, celebrating community life, and doing the work of the Kingdom. Is organization or project planning bad? Should we discard order and discipline? Certainly not. The right approach should be that we need future orientation and structure, but we must always be watchful of projects trampling on individuals and the warmth of relationships. 

I mentioned that girl earlier; I met her at a ministry meeting. It was such a joyful gathering of young leaders planning great things for other young people. That ministry is doing wonderful work now. Unfortunately, there is no one there to consider people like her who have fallen off that fast-moving ministry express train. It is terrible if we forget that “the Sabbath was made for man” (Mk 2:27) and neglect to search for our missing friends who are experiencing loneliness, pain, and suffering. 

Topics:

Accompaniment

Teams and Councils

Structure and systems

Caring relationships

Loneliness

Programs and planning