Be Sensitive to the Interior Journey of Young People (BJRE090)

Be Sensitive to the Interior Journey of Young People

(By Dr. Edward Edezhath - Published in Kairos Magazine in 2025)

Last Sunday, I was at Holy Innocents’ Parish. It was the day after the first holy communion. The seventh graders animated the holy mass. I was so glad to see the liturgical celebration tailored to those groups of teenagers. The teachers and elders welcomed and sat with the teenagers. The celebrant was friendly and joyful. Without being boring or forcing them, the priest and the teachers ensured good participation from the youth. Even the homily included portions read by youngsters from their seats. This too was a sign of the priests’ sensitivity to the mindset of these adolescents. They would have been quite embarrassed to stand in the crowded church to read, so they were allowed to sit and do it. In many ways, everyone considered how the youngsters would feel about themselves and each other, ensuring participation without upsetting them. Such thoughtful youth accompaniment!

Let them be a little immature!

Sometimes I ask the students in my class, “What do you want me to tell your parents?” They answer, “Tell them not to force their expectations on us.” Then they explain that their parents forget how they were years ago and want them to reach places they couldn’t. “Please allow us to live our lives!”

We all need to be aware of one essential reality: we are all, especially the young, on a journey toward greater perfection and maturity. One critical attitude to cultivate about myself and others is accepting that I am on this journey. The Japanese have a special name for the room where they train people in martial arts: dojo. But ‘dojo’ means the ‘place of the way.’ Each of us is at one stage or another of our long journey toward perfection in Christ. St. Paul puts it well: “I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So, I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize” (Phil. 3:12, Contemporary Eng Ver).

A good Jesus Youth is someone who, when witnessing a young person behaving immaturely, does not become upset but instead understands the youth in ‘the place of the way’ and joyfully connects with them. In my own life, I can recall many clumsy moments when others saw far beyond my doubts or rebellion, accepting or placing their trust in me. 

Soon after my high school days, I attended my first renewal retreat. When I had the chance to sit with the main preacher, I told him that I didn’t have much faith and didn’t pray. I thought he would be upset with me, but his response was reassuring and trusting, as if it were quite natural. Two years later, during the first leaders’ training, I went there in some crazy outfits, anticipating an adverse reaction from the important Church leaders present. To my utter shock, almost no one made any negative remarks; instead, when the main team for the renewal coordination was selected, I was asked to be on the team representing the young people of the state. 

I could move from one degree of maturity to another, not due to correction and negative remarks, but through limitless acceptance and wholehearted encouragement from significant elders. My youthful friends would be happy with my questioning and rebellion. Still, when those I consider important do not get upset about that, but instead recognize something significant in me, I, in turn, try to bring out the beauty they see in me. I am sure the generous trust of an elder is the most formative force in a young person’s life. 

Need to identify the stages

Youth is a stage when individuals explore diverse experiences, particularly emotional responses. Transitioning swiftly from joy to sadness, moments of intimacy to loneliness, and excitement to boredom is quite common for them. A well-behaved child may suddenly exhibit temper tantrums, a committed youth in the group might vanish for months, a youth leader who planned a big program may irresponsibly abandon leadership, and an impulsive love relationship between two leaders could disrupt the whole group. These are all instances of this youthful vacillation. 

A youth ministry like Jesus Youth becomes effective when a mature visionary encounters these ‘places of the way’ or immature behaviors and is not shocked by them. Instead, they listen, accept, encourage, and challenge. Almost everyone has a chaotic inner journey to share with you, and you can choose to listen with understanding and encourage them. John sat with me and shared his chaotic present journey, “Everything is in a mess.” But my heart whispered that the Father looks at him with love and wants him to look away from that confusion, and look up to His love and rejoice. I struggled to tell that youth, “Hi John, there is nothing terribly wrong with your life, but it is only a phase of your journey. Rejoice and look to the Lord and His wonderful love.”

When we read the Gospels and reflect on how Jesus connected with those around Him during His journey of maturity, we identify several groups or stages: Seekers, Believers, Disciples, and Apostles. This paradigm and naming may be helpful as we journey with young people today. A youth may approach you at any stage of this journey. The names themselves may be descriptive and beneficial. It is important to recognize and understand the related strengths and challenges. 

But what is the purpose of these descriptions? Is it to categorize them or to describe them to others? Understanding where they are in their faith journey will help you offer suitable accompaniment and even challenge them to move forward. Something Fr. James told me helped me reflect deeper on these stages: “A seeker moves on with some help to a believer and later to a disciple and so on. But one should not forget that one never ceases to be a seeker or a believer even when climbs the ladder of perfection.” 

Seeing the immaturity of youth, what do most people do? They judge them, try to correct them, or shame them. However, if someone understands that this youth is struggling with their inner journey toward maturity and gently stands by them, it would make a world of difference. This would also be your contribution to building beautiful families and a vibrant missionary Church for the days to come.